5 ways birth doulas support partners

Q: Do doulas only support pregnant people?

A: Nope! Doulas offer support for pregnant people and their partners and families. Here’s how:

1. SUPPORT BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER LABOR
   Wherever you’re planning to give birth, you’ll probably be laboring at home for quite a while before go time. As a doula, I labor with you at home before your midwife arrives or we head to the birthing location. I also help establish the laboring space's environment, ensuring it’s a space you feel comfortable and safe in.

   During labor, we can offer partners a break to eat or use the bathroom without leaving their loved one alone. We can also provide information and guidance when making decisions, as a person who’s attended many births and has perspective on the more uncertain moments. And we’re also an extra set of hands! We can offer massage, counterpressure, cold and warm therapy, guiding breathing, and other labor tools as a team together with you.

   After labor, I stick around for an hour or two to ensure everything is going smoothly, help with breastfeeding, get settled, and ensure all your questions are answered.

2. VALIDATION, RECOGNITION, AND APPRECIATION
   During labor, partners can sometimes feel invisible, as the focus is on the birthing person. As a doula, I understand that you as a partner are going through your own kind of labor—feeling big, ground-shaking, life-altering emotions, and maybe feeling like it’s not the right time to express them. I can validate those feelings, recognize your role in the experience, and express appreciation for your journey.

3. EXPERIENCE AND TRANSLATION
   I can help you understand what's going on. I can translate into plain language what your care providers are saying during labor. This helps facilitate positive communication with your care providers, maintaining a calm and focused environment. I help you understand what’s normal during labor and birth, and help you know what’s coming next. This can all help reduce the stress of birth for you and your partner.

4. RETURNING FOCUS TO WHAT’S IMPORTANT
   The laboring space can feel chaotic, even when things go according to plan. As a doula, I can help you focus on staying present for your partner, doing the things you’ve practiced during pregnancy to prepare for this moment.

5. CALMING AND GENTLE PRESENCE
   It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and underprepared when your partner is giving birth. I can help gently remind you of questions you want to ask, requests you want to make, and how to advocate for yourself and your partner. And I do this in a way that doesn’t add to your overwhelm; instead, I seek to bring a sense of calm and ease into the situation.

As a doula, I recognize the monumental importance of birth to partners as well as to the birthing person. I seek to validate, encourage, and team up with you as a birth partner to offer the most comprehensive support possible to your loved one. In no way does a doula replace a birth partner; rather, I support you both in different, complementary ways. And most of all, I love what I do and I bring that passion into every laboring space.

As always, I’m here to answer your questions about the doula process and to partner with you on your journey.

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